Rocket scientist and Bob Dylan expert, Ms. Alias whatever you please, is working feverishly around the clock to discover the cause of this dubious illness which has swept the nation once again. Indeed Alias wonders if there was ever a let up in the condition.

It is unknown whether it is a disease, a syndrome, an organic brain disorder, or a contagious virus. It may well be a plague. Furthermore, after the acute stage, it becomes chronic, and is suspected to be fatal. Some remedies have been found, but only for the symptoms. These include listening to at least three CDs every day, gawking at pictures of His Bobness as often as possible, planning and dreaming that one may soon attend a concert, and keeping an explicit diary of thoughts and imaginings of his brilliance.

It is further highly recommended to steer clear of Mr. Dylan when having to decide between him and your blood kin, especially on his stage, breathing his air, standing 3 feet away from him, as he gazes at you (without shades) with what is the deepest set of blue eyes on record. An incident occurred in Dallas Texas, Nov. 7th 1995 while Dylan was in the midst of his “Unplugged” tour. One sister (name excluded by request) fainted due to oxygen deprivation and had to be carried out of the building across the stage by Dylan’s personal bodyguard.

The other sister who was already suffering from BobDylanism was forced to hop up on the stage, at which time she experienced a weird time warp, profound euphoria, and excessive confusion. Caught between Dylan whom she loves with deathless devotion, and her most cherished sister/best friend, she became dizzy, agitated, angry, forlorn and clueless as what to do. The afflicted woman was stopped as dead as a stone when she realized her predicament. Dylan himself snapped the poor woman into a momentary pseudo sanity with a nod of his head and a twang of his guitar, at which time the woman exited most reluctantly. The immediate outcome of the two sisters was a mixture of disbelief, overwhelming pleasure, and a feeling of personal notoriety, and zealous arrogance. Further studies of this circumstance, or simple twist of fate, if you will, has proven to have untoward side effects as time goes on, and the prognosis is poor for both women, although they keep on keepin’ on. Research is ongoing at an unspecified location, but no cure is predicted in the immediate future. Comments and ideas can be posted at the above address. Any clue will do . . . .